Pumping the breaks
This week was interesting. Everything changed very quickly. Monday I was working at one of the biggest companies in the world. Doing something that was ground-breaking, essentially. Then, on Tuesday, I made one false move that turned out to be a fatal decision based on how I felt. Then just like that, it was over. I had to pack it in, and move out quietly. When I was on the work shuttle bus to the station, I felt as though I didn’t know what to do with myself. My bag was empty. I went from lugging around two phones, a work laptop and notebooks to almost nothing at all. But I can’t deny it felt as though a weight had been lifted.
An unexpected turn
I wanted to leave my job. I wanted to do what I truly wanted to do. For a long time I wanted to see if I could go the self-employed route. When you’re dependent on a safety-net, the idea of having to generate funds on your own is scary. And to be honest, I’m not sure if it’s something I want to do long term. But I know my frustrations for the past two years (maybe longer) was because I need that time to figure it out. This year I saw myself road-trippin’ across the US. Driving in a pickup truck with my southern boyfriend, connecting with North American soil in a way that feels right to me. As much as I love London I do feel I’ve sacrificed that one experience I’ve always to have.
I planned the next three months based on said job being a security net. I set out a financial goal. I’m not sure how I’m going to achieve it now the fall-back is gone, but I sense it’s possible to make even more money then I did working a full-time job for the past however long. Ultimately, my focus, more so than the money, is the new adventure, which is slated for the end of September.
Do I want to work in the technology space, yes. Do I still consider myself a creative? Yes. Now more than ever. So why get into coding… Because it’s a new challenge. It’s an opportunity to understand something that truly fascinates me. It’s also a chance to do something that may actually suit my personality a lot more.
I’m anti-social. I like working on my terms. And I like to learn. These new challenges seem to suit my pursuits.
Getting my *ish together
In other news: Today I went to do my driving theory test. At the age of 35. I’ve only ever driven a car once in my life, way back in my early 20s. But I had my plan for autumn: go to driving school, and have a stock pile so I could go on my road trip with a Texan Casanova. Both the Texan and job came to me around the same time, and well, they both fell by the way side at the same time as well. My ego (and those around me) would tell me not to spend the cash on the driving course as it’s upwards of £800 take my crash course. But I’m not listening. I actually think this is something I need to stick to. At this point, I’m entering into the next phase of my life whether I want to or not, so I have to make this work regardless of the so-called obstacles (or opportunities, depending on how you look at it). And based on my test score (48/50 multiple choice test; 61/75 Hazard Perception Test), passing the practical driving exam and getting my full driver’s license before October, is going to be one of my biggest steps towards true independence. I feel like if I can do this, then there’s no reason why I can’t reach my financial goal by the end of the summer, without having to work a traditional 9 to 5. It feels like a level of maturity that’s been waiting to happen.
Wow. This is one of the longest blogs I’ve written in a long time.